Spirituality is a journey, and so I’ll share where I’m at right now. I say this every time I have a “breakthrough”, but this is another one of my peak moments. The difference this time, is that I finally feel balanced. When beginning any journey of faith, you have no clue what to expect. It’s completely personal to you, and so while you may look for common aspects with others, you’ll have two completely different experiences. I think that’s a really beautiful thing. It’s almost like a warm hug when you have a conversation with someone who is also on their own spiritual journey. You both light up when you realise you’ve gone through a similar thing, but in slightly different fonts. It’s a friend in faith. I want to touch on walking a spiritual path in the beginning stages. There’s a huge community of other spiritualists, especially with the current platforms we have. I even utilised this myself when I started a page for collective Tarot readings. The main benefit is that you see how others can relate. It reminds you that you are never alone, and that many others are venturing on this path just like you. You may hear a reader say they saw an angel number and so therefore you should look for that same sign. In the fine print, we’ll tell you that you should only take what resonates. Although, when you’re new to this, how do you even know what will resonate? You are only beginning to make friends with your intuition and understand what things will mean for you personally. I say this to say, I’m in a great place with my own intuition. It took me a while to even fully understand that we will all have different signs, feelings, and communications when it comes to our spirituality. The first time I took this in, was when I kept seeing a specific angel number. I had learnt just before that we can sometimes see repeating signs as a warning. At this point, I wasn’t entirely trusting of my instinct and didn’t clock what it was about. I found out soon after that. I had been warned about mingling with a certain energy. I entertained it anyway, not really thinking too much on it. However, I felt the energy shift and it lingered in my space in the days after the encounter. I had to do a serious cleanse, and even remove a personal belonging that the energy had left behind. The key lesson in this, was to use my discernment. We hear the term thrown around a lot, but it’s because we should be sharp with it. Thankfully, I used that experience to learn my own instincts. That day allowed me to eventually connect the dots and realise that we’re always connected to our intuition we just never realise it. Now, I can say that I know my intuition. I’m still actively learning when she is guiding me, and the different ways that can show up, but I acknowledge her. It took a lot of “I knew this was going to happen” and “shouldn’t have done that” for me to be where I am now. Without making certain calls, you will never know when your gut means well. I had been accidentally following my intuition without knowing it. Whenever faced with a decision, I always place myself in each scenario and pay attention to how my body responds. I started doing this year’s back because I used to be the worst at making decisions. This allowed me to bypass the thinking aspect, and just feel my way into it. Now, at a good place in my journey, I understand that I was simply just connecting with my intuition and had no clue. More recently I’ve been connecting bridges. The discernment was a major part, but it also trickled down into the smaller aspects of my journey. For example, now I know what I look like when I’m disconnected. I used to go through phases where I’d feel extremely lost, and I still do from time to time. I know it’s all apart of the journey, but they’ve become less frequent for me as I increased my self-awareness. Before, I wouldn’t even ask for help, or try to find the answer within. I would let myself to be consumed with whatever emotion I allowed to dominate my mind. It could get pretty draining after a while, especially when you’d struggle for weeks and then stumble across your answer in the most obvious yet subtle way. I got tired of waiting for my clarity to be revealed, and started figuring out how I could consciously bring it to the surface. That’s not to say that I rush things, but more so that I understand how I can help myself, even on the timing of Spirit. It’s as if I realised that I can finally trust myself and my faith to support me in the correct ways. For somebody who could never see the bright side of things, this is really a great lesson. I did have to give myself the patience to understand, but it’s always worth it. I don’t fret over things that I can’t control. As for the things that I can, I just lead with trust. Having actively learnt my intuition, and how to just feel things, has given me so much peace. It reminds me every day that this whole journey is completely fluid. Nothing is meant to be logical, or strictly identified. The beauty in my spirituality is knowing that if it makes sense to me from tip to toe, then it’s for me. If it doesn’t, it’s something I’ll figure out when the time is right. Either way, I continue to travel my spiritual journey with faith, trust, and an inner knowing that everything will be exactly as it’s meant to.

I'm going to be freestyling this, in the true spirit of a 20-year-old. I am so grateful to have made it to twenty. I say that because there were times when I never thought I’d make it to 18. The idea of me living my own life seemed further than a dream and more like an optical illusion. I had only one plan when I made it to 18, and that was to get a tattoo. Nothing crazy because I just wanted the evidence that I had officially made it into adulthood. The funny thing is, I didn’t get my ink until I was 19. Instead, my gift into adulthood was the crippling feeling that I was already running out of time. It’s a sadly universal aspect of growing up. As a child, you have no real understanding of what life is like once you officially become too old for the bouncy castles. There is no reason to comprehend life past limitless fun. I don’t know about you, but for me that meant a real shock to the system when I had to navigate this new world. Adulthood as we know it, is the bouncy castle without air. It can often feel like trying to find the joy in something you love, but quickly realise there’s no room for a smile in the professional world. I know it sounds weird that I’m detailing my thoughts on adulthood when I’ve been here for five seconds. But on a real, this type of living is dull enough to put a spirit to rest honey. Only twenty but I have already unsubscribed from whatever reality this is. I’ve seen my tip of the iceberg in this manmade world, and I vowed to choose peace. The only thing we see are adults constantly chasing something. It’s not happiness, it’s not fun, it’s always money. Unfortunately, money does make this world go round, and so it’ll always be here. You can’t say the same for your joy and sanity. I have young parents, and my dad is constantly justifying his work stress by saying “it’s the real world”. I don’t respond because since when did living automatically equate to stress? I want to talk to whoever decided they were mutually exclusive concepts. To me, existing is one the most precious gifts there is. The opportunity is such a blessing that you only need to do it once. So that brings me to say, if we only have one chance to live, why on earth would we choose to spend it in empty misery? Something just doesn’t add up. Yasmin at 9 years old could tell you that adults were weird. I’ve never once met a grown up who I didn’t think was at least a little bit strange. I understand why now. The world that we created, is the weirdest version of life there is. Most people have forgotten what it means to live for themselves. I’d bet that they forgot as soon as they had to earn a wage to live. It’s normal for your desires to change, but what we don’t notice is that we alter them to fit around a completely industrialised way of living. Before you say we absolutely must live this way to survive, I’ll let you save your breath. I am unapologetically one of those people who think we should be living natural, staying in tune with the earth and out of touch with damaging creations. This concept of living will never seem normal to me. I believe this at only twenty, so what will I do in a few decades time? Before I reach 40, I will be turning 21 of course. I’m a summer baby so I never care too much on what to do, I just need the sun and I’m thriving and happy. This year is a little different for me though. Last year, I had manifested turning 20 abroad and did just that. This year, I was guided away from booking a solo trip to do it again. I’m a believer that there’s always a reason for redirection and that the universe has other plans. What gets me is just the fact that I’ll be turning 21, with no clue how. I don’t even know how I got to 20 and a half. I like to at least know the gist of a plan but I decided to just let the universe flow this time. Soon after my last birthday, my whole world got turned upside down. My mother had kicked me out, I started some serious healing, had to reconcile with the other estranged parent, all while trying to float in a career path that I was still learning to love. I learnt exactly what it meant to trust that you’re always on the right path that year. Being so young and hopeful, I had no other choice but to just keep faith. With the universally legal age on the horizon, I’m figuring out how to enter yet again with trust. My life experiences have already shown me what I don’t want, and what I desire. One thing’s for certain, I will not grow closer to the concept of an adult with a job but no joy, and a heart but no spirit. By now, I think we can depict that I am writing this to prevent an unscheduled life crisis. Currently, I’m periodically convincing myself that rather than being okay with not having it figured out, I need to be okay with just being myself. Not attaching myself to an ideal, a career, a falsified sense of happiness. A lot of our society creates the illusion that to be fulfilled, we must first live by the unspoken rules, sell our souls, and even then nothing good is guaranteed. My 21 is about embracing the liberation I innately have, rather than worrying about how I could fit it into a box. The first half of 20 taught me that I can “have it all” and I can do it well despite everything. The second half is teaching me that I am entitled to create and experience my own joy, at any pace in whichever capacity I choose. It’s inevitable that we age. We do however get to decide how we do that. Will you be starting the next chapters with as a passenger in your own life, or will you decide to take the wheel? The driver’s seat is always open, no matter how old you may be. The chance to curate your life, and fulfil your true desires, exists at every moment. So, I’m signing off this post as: The twenty-year-old who needed those last thousand words to remind herself that she is always at a beautiful beginning, and time is a subjective illusion. Find joy in the pace of your own life.

If you don’t get several grips, nobody else is going to do it for you. Gaslighting. A concept that we are all too familiar with, especially those of us who are healing. However, in this instance, I don’t want you to regard the concept as bad. You can quite literally use this to your own advantage, heavy emphasis on the own. How I see it, is that you can absolutely tell yourself that your fears are bs. What reason do you have to fear something that could be the greatest thing you do? None. To be doubtful that the next move you make could be spectacular, is childish. I just gaslit you, for free. Try it on yourself so we can get to living life. I understand that sometimes we just can’t save ourselves before we end up in that self-doubt spiral. We can always make it out, that’s the thing. When we’re trying to reach a goal, our biggest fears and anxieties try to get spotlight too. It’s natural. You’re going after something new, and trying to envision the best possible outcome. That’s why you have to know when to snap out of it, and really check yourself. We have a choice when it comes to bypassing those emotions. Either love yourself, or gaslight yourself out of them. Both good options, one obviously sounding more appealing. However, tough love can be necessary and that’s where we talk gaslighting. If you’ve laid the foundation of discipline already, speak your soft encouragement. For those of us who haven’t reached there yet, you need to apply some pressure. When your fears are dominating, you need to take control of them. Your reality is an accumulation of your beliefs, and you control the mind. I first started gaslighting myself when I was ready to drop out of university. I had been going back and forth pretty much since I started. I even went home the first weekend I got there, and I should have taken that as my sign. Nevertheless, I still needed a push to go. I didn’t enjoy my course, I was struggling academically while adjusting to change, and I was totally going through it in my personal life. I gave it a few months to see how I’d feel, in case any changes happened. They didn’t and I was even more over it. I just about made it to second year and at this point, it’s do or die. I had mentioned to my family that I’d plan to leave, and this made it real for me in a way. Once I verbalise a plan externally, I’m already doing it. So, I reached the stage where I need to formally state that I’m dropping out. I sat a couple of nights and thought it over some more. Eventually, I was collecting forms and sending emails. I had told myself that it was not by force that I needed to suffer on a path that was so clearly not mine. The guilt was trying to nag at me, and I asked myself what did I even gain by staying here? That was all I needed to hear. It took me really identifying with my fears to be able to call myself out. I had to understand what my core feelings were before I could attempt to override them. For me, a lot of reasons why I’m hesitant towards change, is simply because I’m a control freak. So to be able to check myself, all I had to do was say it’s ridiculous that I thought I could even control anything. I had not a clue, and still don’t, what’s in store for my life. That’s the beauty of it. So what good was I doing by projecting fear onto choices that I felt called to make, and eventually understood why? I tackled myself head on, and I’m grateful for my own tough love. You realise one day that the only thing holding you back, is yourself. You can’t be your own biggest fan and biggest hater at the same time. You’ve got to pick a side and pick you! The best thing is that it all starts with you. Decide to trust in yourself and want the best for yourself. Despite what your fabricated fears tell you, you’re entirely capable. Get comfortable with telling your fears to get lost, respectfully. You are the creator of your reality, and the narrator behind your mind. Since deciding to get serious about myself, my life has changed for the better. Anything I want to try; I give myself the opportunity to do so. The worst that can happen is that your fears were right. And at that point, I’m still lowkey blaming myself because why did I manifest that??! We can spend forever feeding into the worst feels that anxiety can create or, we can exist in the alternate reality. Say thank you to your mind for suggesting outcomes, but I know we can desire better. We give power to our mind way too much, and then continue to let it run riot. Let this one run on your mind for a minute: If you are you, why would you want anything but the best for yourself? The point is, you deserve to live your best life. And your fears know they have no place fiddling with that. Just remind them from time to time, and don’t be shy. It’s your mind <3

Manifesting is an amazing tool. So, it requires a lot from us. Ah, manifestation. The key to everything you could ever desire in this lifetime. Although magical in a sense, we have to be careful when we tap into this. Manifesting is the act of calling in your desires through various methods. It can be anything from making a vision board, writing them down, or affirming them. There are so many ways it can be done. The general rule to go along with this is that, anything you say goes. Don’t take that lightly either. Once you’re set on something appearing into your reality, it’s on its way to you. Before manifesting that one dream you’ve had for the past six months, you need to regulate your energy. There’s a need to understand your power as an entity on this earth. This can take some significant consideration. Once you’re aware of yourself, you need to realise that your individual energy will always be in alignment with the universe. After all, we are all one with the earth. This means that whatever you’re putting out, you’re getting back. Keep gratitude for your existence and the things you’ve already experienced and have yet to. These aspects will help you to consciously align with your desires. One thing to note, with great power, comes great responsibility. The lesson I’ve been focused on, is how to navigate my ego when manifesting. Some might argue that your ego is highly necessary as it would know the things that make you feel good. I stand on the counter argument. Your ego is actually negatively interfering with your manifestations. The ego gravitates towards things that make us look good externally, rather than internally. That’s where you’d leave a note for external validation. Instead of acknowledging what makes you truly happy as a being, it perpetuates skewed ideas that make us look a certain way. You need a good grip on your ego to manifest what your soul craves. A lesson like this comes with first-hand experience, of course. I had reached a period where I was accidentally manifesting small things quickly. It would be anything from running into certain people, or receiving something I had mentioned once in a passing thought. I was at my most connected stage and had no clue how I got there. It took me a minute, but I managed to succumb to my ego. I knew I had messed up when I manifested my traumas as an entire person. Thankfully, it didn’t take me long to recognise this, but I still had to go through it. My ego told me that I wanted to be perceived a certain way, and to have that, I needed a certain type of person in my life. All wrong. When I met them, I was completely disconnected from self, and my higher self had been drowned out by my ego. Without recognising that I was out of touch, I focused on something I thought would help. It was the shock I needed to realise that I was on a rocky path. For me, my ego wants things that I didn’t have growing up. When she’s wounded, she reverts to defence and needing things that she thinks would make her “whole”. It can show up in any form, and I even did it with a job (story time for another post). The biggest takeaway is that, when trying to manifest your most aligned reality, you need to be in touch with your most spiritually aligned self. Everything will always begin from within, and if you’re operating from an unbalanced ego, you will call in things to reflect just that. It’s good to know what wounds you do have, because that can help you to create your life. Recently I realised that if you’re not healing, you’re stuck in a version of you that was created in a response to trauma. That isn’t really who you are at your core, and so it can be difficult to tell what resonates with your heart. My only advice: get to know yourself, truly. Only then can you begin to understand what life your whole existence craves to live.

As I walked past you on the street, I noticed that our steps aligned with the same beat. The way your left leg stopped as you went to cross and my heart dropped Because you were within an inch of me, and it was only your face that I could see. Before I take another step, I had to catch my breath and it wasn’t Because I was out of it, it was because I needed to see if I could do more than mouth it. “Hey” A simple greeting yet filled with a high Because who knows if you’ll even come back with a reply. We stop and giggle, ran from the cars as you do a swivel So that I’m on your left side and you could see both me and the cars from the corner of your eye Where do we go from here? A bench, coffee, is there a café somewhere near? Either way, your words linger by my ear and in this moment you’re more than the stranger I nearly waltzed by in first gear.

Let’s talk about the trip that made me fall deeper in love with my life. I blinked and I was packing to fly out, by myself. This has always been a dream of mine, so I can only begin to tell you how excited I was. When I was younger, I just knew that I wanted to explore. I had no particular travel plans, but I’m pretty basic so Spain was to see me, permanently. I had left the country a handful of times by the time I was 17, mostly visiting European countries. Being the age I was, I was always to stay with whoever I was travelling with. Now, I’m independent by nature, and I love to just wander. I never really felt I was experiencing the world how I had wanted to. When I touched 19, I realised that me and the UK just are not compatible! Once I started to picture and plan my own life, I figured that the world is my home, and it’s only right I indulge and explore. That is exactly how I ended up in a small town in Portugal. Initially, I was meant to be going with my Auntie. She had a week off at a perfect time and we got to talking over some wine about where we could go. At this point, I was ready to live my best travel plans, no questions asked! We had wanted to go in about three weeks’ time, which was enough to find a good deal. My Auntie was working like mad and I’m really last minute, so it got to a week prior, and we still had nothing. We did manage to decide on either Malta, Croatia, or Canary Islands. With a good starting point, I was optimistic that we’d find somewhere in a couple hours and have it booked. Still, we flopped. We had exchanged several hotel links and too many “that’s cute!” into the chat. Still. Nothing. Booked. The days were going by, and I’ve decided that I’m going regardless. My Auntie, however, decides the opposite. She backs out unfortunately and I nearly gave in too! Then something clicked. I had been spending so long doing things solo, and I wasn’t about to miss a holiday! By the time my Auntie had changed her mind, I was already packing, and I was sitting in a pile of my clothes. Keep in mind, it’s now Friday evening and I’m flying on Monday at 6am. So, with my bags almost packed, I pluck up the courage to book the trip. Portugal was mentioned loosely in the initial travel plans so I gave it one last look and found such a cute place. My phone was on 15% and I’m squinting at my passport trying to book this trip before I head to my friends’. I bombard my dad with questions about airports and finally book. And that was that. I was going to Portugal in two days, alone. Side note: I’ve never flown alone. I always get big nerves about new things, but I was not about to let that stop me. The journey there was extremely peaceful. I don’t like a lot of noise, especially in the morning. So, travelling at the crack of dawn was just perfect. When I landed, I literally stepped off the plane and felt nothing but joy. I left the bad vibes in the UK! My transport to the hotel was just over an hour, and I was sitting front seat listening to some absolute tunes, smiling in the sun. Yes I did try to shazam some Portuguese music, and no it didn’t work. I fumbled on the music, but it was absolutely fine because I was realising that there’s no better feeling than stepping into a new country with too much clothing. As soon as I arrived at my hotel, I did a quick happy dance, freshened up, and took myself to the beach! I revelled in the freedom as soon as I tasted it. I had planned for this to be a beach and cocktail getaway. It most definitely was a success. I was there from Monday to Friday, which was just perfect for my first solo trip. I spent the first few days exploring the small town, then ending up at the beach with a bottle and a book. I was an hour outside of Faro, in a town so small that I could see either end when I stood in the ocean. It was super cute! Monday to Wednesday were spent finding my favourite spots. There was a cute little bar/café right next to the beach. I fell in love the first time I sat there and even more after I sipped the first mojito. Anywhere I go, a mojito is my drink! They also did cute toasties and for a lactose intolerant girlie, the cheese wasn’t disagreeing. Further confirmation that I belong anywhere outside of the UK. My next favourite location accidentally turned out to be the highlight for me. I was walking through the other end of the town, seeing if I could find greenery around there. I found even more : ). I first saw the far end of the beach behind some huts, and then further down I saw some greenery. I decided to stop to take some photos. Shoutout to my first tripod being a great travel partner! I opted to explore the greenery first, seeing as though that was my initial plan. It turned out to be this gorgeous wooden walkway surrounded by nature, which then led out onto the beach. I quite literally squealed when I saw this beautiful spot. It took me a second to realise that there was what seemed to be a hut on the far-right side. I strolled down the walkway, taking in every inch of the view until I reached the hut. This hut needs to be a national landmark. I’m overly dramatic, but when you see the pictures, you’ll see the gist of my exaggeration! When I got there, I realised that the walkway stretched down the entire beach, and the hut was just this end. There were a few people sitting in the hut, but I still had my tripod out and on full height too! Once I started taking photos of myself, this elderly couple got up to leave. I was thinking that sis was going to take her sweet time to walk by my phone, and she did. But her husband stopped to chat away! He started to tell me that he and his wife are originally from Holland, but they’ve been in Portugal the last six months. He also told me that he usually brings his camera out, but recently he’s been using only his phone, bless him. This was such a wholesome moment, because it’s another reminder to just be myself, and you can end up learning and meeting new people! This is how I ended up spending my last full day with new people. I had told my friend that I’m going to do a tequila shot at my hotel bar, in thoughts of her and our last trip together. I ended up not even doing a shot but having a cocktail and a conversation instead. I literally had to tell myself that I don’t know anybody in this town, so I have to just be myself and be open! The person I met at the bar ended up introducing me to a few others that they knew. Now, whilst I don’t know a lick of Portuguese, the vibes were so wholesome! Me and another woman managed to get girl talk in, despite the communication barriers. Language can never stop the gossip! We sat together on the beach, watching a game of football, taking selfies and sips of wine. Immaculate vibes if you ask me. This was the perfect end to a perfect trip. I had soaked up all the sun, drank enough mojitos and finally finished my book. Life was bliss! As you can imagine, this trip was definitely a game changer for me. Let me tell you why. Aside from the obvious getting over travel nerves, Portugal reintroduced me to myself! I had to block out every negative thought, doubt, and worry I had to stay present. The biggest challenge of the trip was learning to actually do what I want to do. It sounds simple, but I realised I’m always doing something because I think it’s what’s expected of me. I had to sprint out of my comfort zone and seal the door behind me. This trip was the first step into me living my travel dreams, and so I had to pour my all into it. For me, it meant trusting that the joy I was seeking was also seeking me. I followed my heart and my intuition, and they led me both right to pure joy. It exceeded my expectations in every aspect, and I’m just grateful to have been able to go. This year is my year, and I’m holding myself accountable for my happiness! If you were considering a solo trip, go!!!

We’ve all been the toxic one. It’s fine to admit that, but we’ve got to heal. If you ask a lot of this younger generation, they’d agree that the dating scene is very scary. In my opinion, seeking out romantic connections is harder because a lot of our norms and expectations around love changed, and not for the better either. You can get to this conclusion several different ways, but to me it’s because as we realised we had to heal, we also realised that not everybody else is. A lot of the outdated love culture is still ingrained in many. Now, it’s referred to as the anxious and avoidant, or the nonchalant and the lover. Many of us just don’t know what genuine love looks like. You’ll hear me mention different levels of awareness in a few of my posts because it’s valid. Whilst some may understand where their notion of love was constructed, others don’t yet. It’s my luck that I now know why my romantic ideals were entirely backwards. Let me just say that accountability is one hell of a concept. So even if subconsciously you’re willing to accept if you were the toxic one, that’s better than ignorant bliss in my opinion. I follow up to say that I have been the toxic one. Don’t let the visual of me throwing hands and burning clothes come to mind first. My toxicity was entirely emotional. Before I understood I could change my ways, I had to acknowledge the root of where I learnt these notions. I won’t bore you with the details, but I can say that my heart was cold for a minute or two at least. As I didn’t know this before, I imitated of lot of what I thought love was when dealing with people. I also projected out a lot of my own pain too. A lot of us will have been on both the giving and receiving end of this. In my connections, this showed up as me being emotionally unavailable, scared of vulnerability, and the strong defence to go along with it. As time went on and I started my healing, I realised that yes I had to learn to love myself regardless, but I also had to take action if I was going to swerve the destiny of 100 years old with a cat for each decade. I was sure that at heart I was the embodiment of love, just as we all are, so I had to figure out how to let that exist. I didn’t want to be the person to say that love was a waste of time, or to choose to believe that you can’t trust, because we need to be real. That sucks and it’s beyond solitude. At one point, I just decided to be conscious of how I was showing up in non-platonic connections. Realise what behaviours were triggers, what ways I showed up that reflected my own self-worth, and just be honest with myself. Someone said to me recently is there any point in solitude if we’re not going to utilize it? She was right. What’s the point in claiming loner if we’re not going to at least love ourselves. I’m at a point now where I can call the rest of us out. The work you’re doing, probably isn’t what you actually need to be doing. I know all too well that there’s a tendency to choose the easiest wound to nurture first. Unfortunately, that isn’t going to get you where you want to be. I come from a culture of shoving things under the rug and pretending it’s easy to walk over the bumps. This existence physically isn’t sustainable. Sooner or later, you’re going to realise that the problem is you. Every lover you’ve had tells you that you suck at communication. But you won’t get to the root of why you shut down when emotional vulnerability enters the chat. If you don’t fix the problem, the cycle will continue to exist. You have to ask yourself if you’re okay with all your relationships mirroring each other, knowing you can’t exist freely within them. I’ll happily admit that it’s easier said than done. However, calling out your own behaviour is very necessary. We all have an ego, so yes, it will sting a bit when we have to look at ourselves properly for the first time. A lot of us do things unconsciously because we’re familiar with the behaviour. It doesn’t always make it right though. It takes balls to admit when you’re wrong, and even bigger ones to take a go at correcting it. I’m not saying this to say that you should spend a decade punishing yourself. I’m encouraging you to heal, no matter how gruelling it may be. The key thing to remember is that we are all learning. There is no such thing as perfection, and trying to show up better than the last time is all you can do. After having to get very real with myself, I realised that I was innately capable of healthy love. Whether it was loving myself, my friends, or my romantic loves. I could be presently aware. I understand that everything takes work and healing but it’s worth it to be able to say that you navigate life with an authentic, open heart. No matter how “damaged” you think you are, you can always be restored <3 Song of the post: A Change Is Gonna Come – Fugees Or Toxic – Kehlani It’s wherever your mind is at after reading the post x

Music speaks so many languages, and we can choose which artists give us the best communication. There’s not a day that’s gone by where I haven’t listened to music. I quite literally need a soundtrack for my entire life. I’ve always loved the way you can just plug in when you please and find a track that perfectly captures how you feel in the moment. It’s even better when you find an entire album that just speaks to you in every song. As a true music fan, I can say that those types of albums are rare gems. I only recently discovered that I had an unusual number of liked songs on my Spotify. And yes, I use Spotify. No Apple slander, but they have never been able to introduce me to as much music as my Spotify app. So, that brings me to reveal that I have a solid 7,000 liked songs on my account. I always had this fear that I would find an amazing song, and then lose it several years later. There’s nothing worse than randomly getting the melody of a song that you once loved, but you can never remember it. It’s torture, so I take no chances. I also never took to making playlists because I always wanted the vibe to be the same throughout and I’m quite picky. The handy thing about having these songs that date back to a younger me, is that I can see how I evolved. I’ll put my hand up to say that I was listening to heart break songs for absolutely no reason. I had not even had my first kiss when I was crying to When I See U – Fantasia, so who was I even shedding tears for? Despite this, I was also listening to a lot of music that had the general theme of pain, heartbreak, and betrayal. A good beat, and a catchy chorus is enough to make us forget that we’re singing about being cheated on by a man with our best friend. Although the songs are a vibe to an extent, we are feeding our subconscious the completely wrong messages. I’ve been integrating higher vibrational music into my playlists for almost two years now, and I can feel the difference big time. One of my go to artists is Londrelle. Not only does every song have an amazing vibe, but they also speak literal positivity. The common theme throughout his music is affirmations. A favourite of mine is A Beautiful Mess. It’s the reminder that life isn’t always smooth sailing, but life in general is a beautiful blessing to have. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather listen to positive affirmations than relationship problems and fake friends. That’s essentially the reason I had to find balance. Listening to the same negative feelings in music everyday had such a knock-on effect on my attitude towards my own life. I constantly felt in a state where I’d need to be chasing this and that or have a certain quality of life even though it didn’t align with me. I was serenading my soul with the wrong sounds. The great thing about this genre of high vibe music, is that there’s a track for every feeling. We tend to gravitate towards the beat before the words in a song, so it’s easy to already get hooked before we know what chorus we’ve just memorised. There is a plethora of artists who perfectly capture a vibe, whilst simultaneously getting us to sing about personal power, gratitude, and blessings. A recent find is Peachkka. She will always get me into the best vibe! I found her first through her tarot reading page on TikTok, and it was a bonus that she was an artist too. This solidified it for me as I knew she had a great energy in the messages she delivered. It translates into her music perfectly. This is a great example of being conscious of the artists you listen to. Some sing about the wildest things, then you find out in a scandal weeks later that it’s their real life. I had to put a limit on that, before I turned into an emotionless, money hungry human. I prefer my corner of love, peace, and gratitude. If you’re looking to upgrade your music collection to better align with your subconscious, then I recommend finding a playlist with the aforementioned artists. Before I made the slow switch, I was extremely hesitant. I thought I’d miss out on mainstream music. The truth for me, is that I have hundreds of songs in my own collection that I’d favour any day. I still jam to the trending music, but I find more peace knowing I can listen to my music now without accidentally manifesting a messy situation. Have fun curating your own conscious music library <3 “Walk like waves on the ocean to the beat of your own symphony. Let the seas of emotion carry you only with compassion and empathy.”

When you read this, we will already be well into March, so let me tell you how I began my month. For me, a new month signifies a new beginning. No matter how small it may seem, a new beginning is anything where we can start with fresh energy and clearer intentions. As a society, we always make a big deal of our new year, because those 12 months feel like unchartered territory in which we can create magic. Often that idea sounds really overwhelming, especially when we’re trying to stay present. So, a new month is a more tangible go at revising our current situations and taking it step by step towards a bigger goal. If you’re like me and you run the other way when the task seems unnecessarily big, try starting with new month rituals. Before I got into my rituals, it felt like everyday was rolling into one with no room to breathe. It was difficult for me to feel as though I had the option to claim and embody any positive change, even though I was in charge of my own life. With the thought of that twelve-month game plan looming over me, I continuously felt like I was failing myself if I slipped up or didn’t stick to the rigorous year plan I had devised. We as humans, don’t give ourselves enough credit for the ways we show up or even allow ourselves a moment to breathe when we need it most. This one day tactic switched up the game for me. I owe thanks to one of my favourite creators, Jackie Aina. If you know her, then you know she has a self-care day on the first of each month. In some of her content, she takes you through her personalised day. Feeling that sense of renewal as I watched her talk us through her pamper really made it click for me. This was a habit I needed to implement, and fast. I have three main parts to my monthly ritual: selfcare, energy cleansing, and intention setting. They are all just as equally important as they work together to carry me through my month as my best self. Let’s get into it. 1. Selfcare is the best care. This one is subjective as it depends on what you like to do to make yourself feel good. For me, I love to get my skin, hair, body, and nails right. Don’t worry if you can’t fit it all in, it’s about the intention behind it. Use your favourite products, maybe light a candle, and put your favourite music on while you get into your self-care. It really helps to put you back in touch with your body and it never fails. It also gets your mind all the way right, ready for the new month. 2. Energy cleanse cleanse cleanse! This step is absolutely essential to start my month off right. Again, this depends on how you prefer to cleanse, so keep it personal! My cleanse usually consists of some good breathing affirmations, mixed with a meditation. One of my top affirmations is “I am in alignment with the energy of the month, and I release interfering energies with grace”. Getting your energy right is essential when setting your new intentions. It can determine how we receive and accept our desires. Solidify the energy you want and say out with old, in with the new. 3. Set your intentions! This one is my absolute favourite. We have the power to decide how we’re going to focus our energy, so get real with this one. Look at how you spent your previous month. Did it match up with an ideal for you, were you on track to achieve any personal goals? Yes or no, you can still set new intentions to support this. You can have more than one if you put your belief and effort into it. It doesn’t just have to be a physical intention, such as healthy eating. It can also be an emotional one, like aiming to show up more openly, or have a more positive inner dialogue. The choice is up to you, just make sure you’re solid on the intention. One of my main February intentions was the air of forgiveness. I chose to enter last month with the intention of carrying forgiveness on my heart, for myself first and others afterwards. It was refreshing for me as I acted differently on a lot of issues and this aided in my personal growth. These ideas are purely just guidelines. You can choose to revive, or set a new intention any day. I feel that the monthly habit is beneficial as it can help you to achieve big goals with mini milestones. Don’t put pressure on yourself either. Starting something with a good intention is better than not trying anything at all. You’re doing amazing already. Can’t wait to see what intentions you set for your next month! <3

I vowed to wait patiently, even if it takes an eternity I will wait for the love that was crafted just for me. When I asked, they told me that in spirit our souls are intertwined. And its more than that too, because we’ve loved each other for a thousand lifetimes. I know it’s meant to be reassuring enough, Even more than the chills I get when I fantasise about your hearts touch. But sometimes I want to come home and we tell each other about our day. Maybe we could sit and pray, light some sage, and give gratitude for the blessings coming our way. So still, I wait patiently for you, because I know that when our love reaches this earth, our hearts will no longer be two.