Gaslight Your Own Fears

If you don’t get several grips, nobody else is going to do it for you.

Gaslighting. A concept that we are all too familiar with, especially those of us who are healing. However, in this instance, I don’t want you to regard the concept as bad. You can quite literally use this to your own advantage, heavy emphasis on the own. How I see it, is that you can absolutely tell yourself that your fears are bs. What reason do you have to fear something that could be the greatest thing you do? None. To be doubtful that the next move you make could be spectacular, is childish. I just gaslit you, for free. Try it on yourself so we can get to living life.

I understand that sometimes we just can’t save ourselves before we end up in that self-doubt spiral. We can always make it out, that’s the thing. When we’re trying to reach a goal, our biggest fears and anxieties try to get spotlight too. It’s natural. You’re going after something new, and trying to envision the best possible outcome. That’s why you have to know when to snap out of it, and really check yourself. We have a choice when it comes to bypassing those emotions. Either love yourself, or gaslight yourself out of them. Both good options, one obviously sounding more appealing. However, tough love can be necessary and that’s where we talk gaslighting. If you’ve laid the foundation of discipline already, speak your soft encouragement. For those of us who haven’t reached there yet, you need to apply some pressure. When your fears are dominating, you need to take control of them. Your reality is an accumulation of your beliefs, and you control the mind.

I first started gaslighting myself when I was ready to drop out of university. I had been going back and forth pretty much since I started. I even went home the first weekend I got there, and I should have taken that as my sign. Nevertheless, I still needed a push to go. I didn’t enjoy my course, I was struggling academically while adjusting to change, and I was totally going through it in my personal life. I gave it a few months to see how I’d feel, in case any changes happened. They didn’t and I was even more over it. I just about made it to second year and at this point, it’s do or die. I had mentioned to my family that I’d plan to leave, and this made it real for me in a way. Once I verbalise a plan externally, I’m already doing it. So, I reached the stage where I need to formally state that I’m dropping out. I sat a couple of nights and thought it over some more. Eventually, I was collecting forms and sending emails. I had told myself that it was not by force that I needed to suffer on a path that was so clearly not mine. The guilt was trying to nag at me, and I asked myself what did I even gain by staying here? That was all I needed to hear.

It took me really identifying with my fears to be able to call myself out. I had to understand what my core feelings were before I could attempt to override them. For me, a lot of reasons why I’m hesitant towards change, is simply because I’m a control freak. So to be able to check myself, all I had to do was say it’s ridiculous that I thought I could even control anything. I had not a clue, and still don’t, what’s in store for my life. That’s the beauty of it. So what good was I doing by projecting fear onto choices that I felt called to make, and eventually understood why? I tackled myself head on, and I’m grateful for my own tough love. You realise one day that the only thing holding you back, is yourself. You can’t be your own biggest fan and biggest hater at the same time. You’ve got to pick a side and pick you! The best thing is that it all starts with you. Decide to trust in yourself and want the best for yourself. Despite what your fabricated fears tell you, you’re entirely capable. Get comfortable with telling your fears to get lost, respectfully. You are the creator of your reality, and the narrator behind your mind.

Since deciding to get serious about myself, my life has changed for the better. Anything I want to try; I give myself the opportunity to do so. The worst that can happen is that your fears were right. And at that point, I’m still lowkey blaming myself because why did I manifest that??! We can spend forever feeding into the worst feels that anxiety can create or, we can exist in the alternate reality. Say thank you to your mind for suggesting outcomes, but I know we can desire better. We give power to our mind way too much, and then continue to let it run riot. Let this one run on your mind for a minute: If you are you, why would you want anything but the best for yourself?

The point is, you deserve to live your best life. And your fears know they have no place fiddling with that. Just remind them from time to time, and don’t be shy. It’s your mind <3