Music is my love language. I don't say that to mean I could serenade you and resemble the tones in your dream. What I mean, Is that I'll you a track, maybe 3 or 5, that'll resonate with your soul first, and then your mind as you hit rewind. Okay so what I really mean, Is that words perfectly articulate what it means to feel and so when I send you a whole EP, I'm essentially sharing a dairy entry. Because the love is mutual enough for me to share with you the feelings that my favorite artist could curate with more than one beat. Did you hear the last track I sent you? I think it's basically saying that I think your aura is pretty sweet.

I'm in a stage of letting go. I know I said it a billion times before, but this time I mean it. I can't afford to go through another season of subtle trauma disguised as healing. I'm returning to me And understanding what it means to have detachment with my feelings. For I might have them, but for a long time The wires were crossed about meaning This time I'm letting go. I've said it before, but this time I can't afford to say no. No to the freedom I've longed for, and the liberation that's put me at war. But only at war with myself internally I just didn't embody the strength to release myself with the key. For I've had this key for so long But I couldn't see that it was me I needed to escape from. So this time, I'm letting go Standing in my truth, and allowing myself to grow.

Yes, it’s a tribute to the Beyonce song. I couldn’t help myself. My idea of being grounded is always changing. It could be considered a red flag in the spiritual community if you ask me. Thankfully, I was able to see the light today though. I mean this quite literally too. As I decided to sit in the sun for a long overdue meditation, I gained some serious clarity on what being grounded truly means for me. I hadn’t meditated for a few months, and so I was hesitant on what the outcome would be. I was greeted with a warm welcome as the sun shone on my face and caused me to sit up straight. Typically, I’m met with a surge of emotions, and the task of staying focused. Today somehow seemed to be different. Even when I could hear footsteps around me, and the grandpa who’d sat on a bench behind me briefly, I was able to maintain a steady focus. Now I understand that I was meant to be in that energy. My meditation was all about staying grounded. Previously, I had just thought that meant knowing how to sit outside comfortably, and being present in the everyday world. This afternoon’s moment revealed to me much more. As I sat there mentally scanning my body with my face up to the sun, it dawned on me. I was still. And not still in a way where I’m not fidgeting every other moment. But still where I could sit there, eyes closed, and home in on the energies I wanted to tap into. So, as I allowed the world to exist around me, I listened carefully to what I was being told. Simply put, to be grounded, is to have a good balance between the physical and the spiritual reality. It is learning how to be grounded in both, to create a perfect harmony. I remember hearing during my meditation that spirituality is not a glow stick. It cannot be bent to provide great light. It must be honoured and respected as it stands. That one stuck with me as it made total sense. We spend most of our time trying to stay present in the physical 3D as that’s what we feel we experience most. Do you ever find that you accidentally get too caught up spiritually? As much as you get caught up in a job, you also get lost in trying to understand the underlying energies of the universe. It’s easy to focus too much on one yet neglect the other. I know I’m guilty of this. We almost realise that we aren’t grounded when it’s a little too late. This can look like realising you lack faith in the universe, or you’re overdoing it at work or in your relationships by trying to force certain outcomes. You’ll know you need to get grounded when you’re in too deep one aspect, that you can’t see the other. I want to add that staying grounded is not easy. Hence why I say I’m guilty of having been way out of touch. It’s a task to try and balance the existence of two entities, especially when one is more visibly prominent. The beauty in this is that it’s a constant learning journey. We can reflect and utilise the lessons we learn to better understand our existence and how it feels. My number one tip to get grounded, is to just let go. Often, we can have such a grip on something, usually to our detriment. We hyper fixate on whatever it is and we don’t allow room for the universe to exist outside and within us. Take it from me, when your personal hand is doing more harm than good, it’s time to take a step back and let things be. This leads me to my next tip: step outside. When we’ve lost our equilibrium, it’s because there’s an unbalance. That’s why we feel ungrounded. By stepping back, you allow yourself to gain a bigger perspective on how you’ve been trying to dictate your own harmony. When you’re too deep into one side, you lose the ability to see how this can affect the other aspects outside of this. It’s almost like a harmful tunnel vision. Let yourself zoom out for a minute and then make your way back. As someone who has their own struggles with finding a decent balance, I can say that it’s important to not beat yourself up over it. Learning how to merge your realities to best suit you are a huge task. It can take a lot of time and introspection to really know what works well for you. So, allow yourself to study your existence within both your spiritual and physical reality. Take note of how you show up in each, then figure out ways to create that harmony in which you feel you can thrive. Our existence is complicated yet beautiful, try not to forget that.

Walking the same path will give you the same outcome. How about trying a new direction? Let’s start off with identifying what an open door is. An open door is a new path or an opportunity that has been presented to you. It is available and ready for you to step into. With this open door, comes limitless possibilities that you may not have allowed yourself to consider before. The reason why this door is open to you now, is because you are ready for a new venture simply put. These new paths can typically look completely different to the environment and experiences we have already placed ourselves in. There is a reason for this. Where you are now, is a result of the doors you have previously decided to walk through. Whether they were good or bad, they still led to you being here. Past decisions were made by a past version of yourself. That’s a given as we are always growing, but your mindset was not as evolved in comparison to the present moment. So, you can expect that your present experiences will align with that previous version of yourself. That is the sort of thing I keep in mind when trying to sort through the doors that truly had my best interests. We are constantly being presented with different options to live out, so it’s always up to us whether we choose to follow through with them. Having that type of responsibility for your own life is a big deal, but it’s something we all have. While it may not make certain decisions any easier, understanding the level of responsibility can aid us in making the best choices for ourselves. To achieve great personal outcomes, we must be in touch with our inner subconscious. It can look like asking yourself “What feelings are prompting me to make this decision?”, or “Am I choosing this because I feel it will aid in my growth positively?”. Constantly checking in with yourself can enable you to make better informed decisions in the long run. Humans are creatures of habit. So it may not always be clear when it’s time to walk through a new door. In fact, it may be clear, we just like to stick with what we know best. The beloved comfort zone. There’s nothing wrong with knowing what your comfort zone looks like. The problem is choosing to stay there and not giving yourself the chance to experience things beyond your imagination. The amazing thing about life, is that we have the opportunity to try literally everything. It can seem daunting, but if we don’t try, we can never succeed. That phrase has allowed me to leap out of my own comfort zone, and experience amazing things. You’ll know it’s time to begin a new venture when your current one feels played out. What I mean by that is everyday feels the same. You no longer get excited to live in your current reality, and you feel there are no prospects for this avenue. When we reach this stage, we usually come to a crossroads. Do you suck it up and stick with it? Or do you honour yourself and give yourself the chance to continue growing? While those two questions may seem easy to answer, they carry heavy weight. Choosing to stay means more than neglecting your feelings. It means sabotaging your own opportunity to experience joy that aligns with who you are now. By doing this, you don’t honour the inner growth that you have achieved. I’ll let that sit with you when you feel it’s time to examine your own reality. As I write this, I’m sitting at my own crossroad. I had chosen to close the door on one reality, but still being hesitant to walk through the open one. Limbo. It’s not uncommon to be in this state. Often, we end up here because our subconscious is telling us to move forward. However the tricky part is translating that to allow us to consciously choose a new path. It’s pretty much what I’d call a reality shift, as we are now required to intentionally choose differently. One thing I will say is take your time, but not too much. It sounds contradicting, but it means give yourself grace to walk at your own pace through the next door. Take time as long as it’s intentional and reasonable. But absolutely don’t dwell. That gives you time to lose the excitement and the momentum you have gained. Life is constantly fluctuating. You will never be the person you were five months ago, or even five weeks ago. In that time, you are also always growing. So what aligned with you then, won’t necessarily align with you now. That’s absolutely okay. I’d say it’s even beautiful. It’s a direct reflection of your growth as a human being, and we know that’s not easy work. If you take something from this post, let it be that it's important to honour your elevation by choosing to enter realities that reflect that. You are not tied down to one constant, and you deserve to feel great about your life in whichever door you choose to enter.

Yes, let me address the elephant in the room. I’m young. But “love” has no age, so I can speak my piece. Today’s dating culture is truly a mystery, to say the least. When you’d picture it before, you’d think getting courted, flowers to the house, and consistent dates. This and the expectation that it’d end with commitment. Oh, how times have changed. Nowadays, you can give and receive the same treatment, but where anybody stands will forever be in the air. It seems as though our generation want to have their cake and eat it too. I don’t blame them. I’ve seen the state of relationships amongst our elders, and I’m not rushing to be walked all over like that. I had my first love, and heartbreak, when I was 16. We had met through a mutual and I thought he was the sweetest thing to exist. We had a little romance for a few months, until I decided I was ready to excuse myself from the relationship. In his defence, he did nothing wrong. It just dawned on me when he started talking about marriage that I wasn’t going to stick around for that long, so I may as well save us both. We went our separate ways, and I spent many hours crying over him. Up next, we had my most recent love. I met him about a year later, and yet again thought he was the sweetest thing. We had met at work, through another mutual, and spent the summer in lust. We actually ended up being quite serious, lasting for nearly two years. Yet again, I knew that I was not going to last any longer in this relationship. This time, it was the fact that I had started to see how I was living out my parents relationship. I didn’t want to waste decades of my life arguing and trying to change a man. I left before I could get sucked in any further. I took many lessons from the boys I dated, but it was the most recent encounter with a fling that really got me thinking. We had nothing serious, although when I met him, I was in a stage of learning how to truly be emotionally available. It was all sweet, until it wasn’t. He had said all the right things and made me feel like I was a complete princess. What I forgot, was words mean nothing without actions. It’s so typical of me to say that, but it’s so true. I had taken a liking to the idea of what he could be in my life, rather than what he actually was. He was a small crush at most, something I had allowed my dying romantic to embellish. However, if I had not met him, I wouldn’t have finally completed the lesson I was trying to learn. Good things take time. The common denominator between these three boys, is that I didn’t leave room for organic growth. Number one was a first love, of course I wasn’t going to think twice. Number two was a typical love bombing situation. And number three was just me romanticising. All of which happened too fast. I have no regrets, as they all showed me different parts of myself. So now, as I sit in a time of true dedication to myself, I understand the importance of time. I have been taking the time to get to know myself, with the lessons I learnt from others, and it’s a wonderful process. Everyday I discover a new part of myself, or my mind that I hadn’t made space for previously. You may be rolling your eyes at this, but I promise it’s an enlightening process. Putting someone else and another love before myself was wild. I’m not faulting as we all go through it, I’m simply acknowledging that it wasn’t the best. Removing myself from the dating scene gave me the space to reflect on my own heart. I was learning how to show up for myself, but also how I showed up in connections outside of myself. I feel like it’s something we can accidentally put to the side lines. It's easy to get consumed in trying to be the best lover for somebody else, but what about for yourself? Here’s where I say that we can’t pour from an empty glass. I’m full of cliches for this, but there comes a time where you realise there’s substance in these. And for me, that time was now. In terms of the future for my love life, I have vowed to actually honour my heart. I am choosing to prioritise my feelings, and my value before anything else. I’m not saying I won’t date again, but this time I’m being more intentional with what dating will actually mean for me. There’s been things in the dating world that I’ve always wanted to experience, but pushed aside in the name of putting somebody else above myself. In this season, I am 100% doing me and being happy. I encourage you to do the same. We get one lifetime with these big hearts, so we must use them as best and as positively as we can. If you’ve found yourself in a similar position, loving somebody else is not the be all and end all. But loving yourself absolutely is.

Let’s be real. Kids aren’t for everyone and that’s absolutely okay. Before we begin, being a parent can be one of the most rewarding jobs out there. I say job, because it is one, and not everybody is signing up to do it. Yes we all know that we are biologically wired to reproduce and someone has to volunteer as tribute to keep the population running. I just think it’s wild that we still believe we all have to desperately want to do it. Ask any parent out there and they’ll tell you for free that it is exhausting. There are so many amazing benefits too, but we can’t pretend there’s not also cons. It’s all subjective and down to the type of person you are and the lifestyle you are striving to achieve. Apparently, a side effect of being a woman is that we must want to have children. It’s in our nature. That’s just a deep-rooted stereotype that we need to break. Women were reduced to mothers and housewives before they even had a chance to be an individual. For men, they were simply just providers. I don’t subscribe to either of those toxic stereotypes, personally. We can’t forget that laws existed which meant women had no choice but to only be mothers. So, in this day and age, why are we still behaving as if that’s still the case? For one, it dehumanizes women. Two, it completely undermines the role of being a parent. I’m here to speak my own truth on this topic, so let’s get into it. Reminder, I am a woman. So, I will speak from my perspective. Have you noticed that anytime a woman expresses her lack of interest in motherhood, people always have something to say? It’s usually along the lines of “are you sure you don’t want a mini you? or “what if your future husband wants children?” These are things I recently got asked, and my response was “One of me is plenty”. I hardly ever hear these questions presented to a man when they express the same feelings. It seems to trigger people that you don’t want children, as if they’re going to be the ones raising them with you. Not only that, but they assume you will never find a partner who is on the same page as you. To me, it says that these people think in constrictive traditional ways. I’m all for having your own opinion, but I’m not here for the projections. These kinds of responses imply that everybody needs to have a child, and if they don’t then they’re wrong. The cherry on top, is that they will continue the interrogation in hopes that you’ll cave and say you’ll have a child in the future. A shock maybe, but not everybody is going to feel the same way. As a woman, I strongly dislike the millions of questions as to why I don’t want to parent, even though I’m young. They’ll spend a lifetime subtly telling you that without children, you’ll be incomplete. Again, reducing you to nothing unless you take on a hefty responsibility. Who’s to say that you’ll even make a good parent? Controversial but a lot of parents out there are not fit to parent, but nobody wants to talk about that. These interactions are a constant reminder that people don’t fully understand what it means to be a parent. It isn’t just a 9-5 job where you can hand in your two weeks at any given point. It’s a lifelong commitment. I spent the last year working in a primary school and boy did I learn a lot. On top of that, I am the eldest to two siblings and the gap between us is miles. The reason I mention that is because children are people too. Once you have them, you are responsible for an entire human being other than yourself. Sorry not sorry, but half of us can barely care for ourselves. One thing that irked me, was that you can see a lot of these children were hardly ever emotionally recognized as individuals. A common misconception is that to be a parent, all you need to do is be financially stable and be in a committed relationship. Wrong. You need so much more than that. You actually need to be emotionally secure within yourself. The physical aspect of parenting is the least of your concerns. A roof over their head is great, but the ability to be a support system and a decent role model is a bigger priority. Growing up, I saw how the traditional parenting dynamic played out. When you don’t necessarily come from a lot, you watch how your parents get consumed in trying to provide. It’s not a bad thing, and I’m grateful for what they were able to do for us. It’s how it affects everyone, parents included, that gets me. They shut down emotionally, and focused on sustaining the material needs. Being the eldest, I felt for not only my parents, but my siblings too. So, I had decided that I was going to take responsibility for the emotional well-being of my family. Looking back, I have tiny regrets, but mostly because I wished better for all of us. Pretending to be mother to my siblings in any capacity was a lot to deal with. As I’m older now, I understand that trying to raise a person, and be all around present, is something nobody can ever prepare for. For me, it’s not something I’ll ever want to experience. Yes, it’s beautiful to carry on your bloodline, but it’s also tremendously exhausting and so easy to lose your own identity. Self-awareness is key. So I can easily say that I don’t have the facilities to be a parent. I’m selfish. I never envisioned myself having a 7-seater, going to birthday parties, and texting my mum friends about playground drama. It has just never appealed to me. I definitely don’t want to sacrifice years of my life running little people to and from clubs and waiting until school holidays to go abroad. I do love children, but I love them more when you can give them back. I am happy to be the fun auntie, living my best life while appreciating those who do have children. Side note: I feel it’s problematic to say that having children means you are a family. I thought family was whoever you considered it to be. I was going to add that maybe in the future if I met someone and changed my mind then great. But the actual idea of having children makes me want to jump out of my skin. It may sound crazy, but even just pregnancy alone creeps me out. I know I’m physically capable of it, but I like my body as my own. As for being a real life parent, it can consume your whole life. You have to pour everything into raising another human as best as you can in hopes that you’ll do right by them. I have massive appreciation for people who can do this as it’s not easy at all. I hope that soon, we’ll collectively be respectful of people who don’t want this responsibility. Everyone is entitled to live their life how they please. What makes someone else complete, isn’t going to necessarily be true for the next person. Parenthood isn’t to be taken lightly, and it’s okay to recognize when you don’t want part of that journey. If you take anything from my views, let it be that your opinion belongs to yourself, please! It can be insensitive to question and challenge people’s desires, especially when it’s not your place. We are all free to have our own life's mantra, and mine respectfully, is f***k them kids :) Do you!

Yes, I’m the girl who carries crystals in her bag. Let me live! Before we begin, you do not need to carry a stone to define your spirituality. You actually don’t need any tools whatsoever. Everyone is entitled to their preference, and I happen to love me some good stones! The use of Crystals can be dated all the way back to the Ancient Sumerians and the Ancient Egyptians. They were used in things such as formulas, and spells, but also in jewelry. They are still widely recognized for their beauty and healing properties, especially among the spiritual community. There are ample kinds of stones out there, such as the infamous rose quartz, carnelian, and amethyst. I’m going to share with you my top three stones, as of right now. I remember my auntie taking me to Camden market in London and getting me this beautiful Turquoise ring. I was a young teenager at the time and had no clue that it had any actual real meaning. I wore it constantly anyways, only now realizing that it was probably the reason for a lot of my emotional changes back then. Since beginning my spiritual journey, I’ve just allowed myself to be guided to certain stones. My number one rule when opting for spiritual items, is I go in blind. I let my intuition guide me to what I need, and it’s like magic when I research it and it turns out to be exactly what I needed. I always stand by that rule as it never fails me. The stones I tell you about were guided to me at prominent stages of my journey. My most favored stone is Turquoise. This little beauty will actually get me through any of my problems, no doubt. It’s associated with Scorpio, Sagittarius and Pisces. It also relates to the throat chakra and the third eye. These are to do with your truth and your intuition. As a Scorpio moon, there is no hiding when it comes to having this around. It’s typically known for encouraging gentle healing, opening you up to love and forgiveness, and enhancing your spiritual connection. I believe that each stone will have a different effect, depending on how you allow it into your life. For me, I reconnected with this stone at one of my lowest points. I was feeling extremely lost and almost in a rut of my own healing. This stone was what I needed to get me out of it. I always joke that having this stone will explain why you cry out of nowhere and have extreme clarity on your feelings. Because it’s true. I said that it encourages gentle healing because it’s almost like it coaxes you to face your feelings, while being the shoulder to cry on. I recommend this stone if you need some support to work through some feelings and reconnect with yourself. My next go to is Amethyst. I am truly a big fan of this one. It’s associated with Aquarius, Pisces and relates to your third eye and crown chakra. The crown chakra is the place for spiritual enlightenment and represents the universal flow of energy. Your third eye is responsible for your intuition and higher thinking. This stone is known for cleansing, purifying, and balancing out your aura. I like to think of this stone as an emotional and spiritual "detoxifier". Whenever I feel overwhelmed in life, I opt for the Amethyst. I had gotten a really mesmerizing piece of Amethyst (now lost in a move), and it got me back on my feet and realigned with my direction. It will remove anything in the way of your connection with your highest self and a higher power, if you believe in one. This one is a game changer for many reasons. A few months back, I found a pair of earrings that each had a small piece of Amethyst. I wore them to a tense gathering and it really helped me have the clarity I needed to operate in a guided way. I recommend this stone if you feel like you’re not sure what needs to be cleared out, emotionally and physically. My most recent favorite is the Tiger’s Eye. I vouch for it because it is associated with Capricorn and Leo. I am a beloved Leo, of course. It relates to the root chakra and the solar plexus. The root chakra is all about your stability and security. It has strong links with your energy and how you feel within the external world. The solar plexus focuses on your self-esteem, confidence, and how you perceive yourself subconsciously. Tiger’s Eye is all about enhancing your confidence. It helps you to see the best in yourself and also everything else. If you’re looking for a shift in perspective and some optimism, this stone is the one. I had first gotten this as a gift, among other stones. I’m a fan of placing certain stones around my home, so I put this one near some candles. It came at a time where I needed to have some faith within myself, and the stone did help with that and more. I soon lent this stone to someone who was in a similar position, and needed some personal power. After this, I ended up getting the stone as a bracelet. I wore it consistently, even in an interview. I got the job that same day, with less experience than the other guy. I couldn’t recommend Tiger’s Eye enough. It reminds you of the innate power you have and guides you to opportunities where you can shine. Again, a stone doesn’t define your spirituality and we are each entitled to travel our journey as we please. If you’re looking to get into stones, I recommend starting with one of these. Even better, let yourself be guided to some. For me, they have been amazing support tools, and I always love discovering more. Side note: Don’t forget to cleanse the stones before use. Also cleanse them intermittently to restore the energy. You can use incense, sage, or put them in the moonlight to do this. Happy Healing!

If it’s on your shoulders, you can put it down. Where do I even begin? That’s pretty much how it feels to carry a weight when it makes no sense to do so. This post is to be your reminder and reassurance that softness, and ease are your innate right. I know it can feel hard to believe that at times, but bear with me and I might just make you see this light. Everybody is going through it. Whether it be good or bad, we all have our own stuff going on. The thing is, we will never know the silent story of somebody else’s life. That’s why you’ll always hear people reminding us that we should treat everyone with kindness. Even though we’re all human, our unique issues can sometimes make us feel different. The funny thing is, I bet the next person has gone through at least 50% of what you’re worrying about. It’s life. How creative can the problems get? Definitely a rhetoric, but you get the picture. We all have something. An emotional burden is heavy luggage to carry. Whatever the problem, you’ll find yourself dragging it around everywhere you go. If it’s really eating you up, you may even find that it follows you into your dreams. The point is, it’s not a nice thing to experience. It can often make you feel alone, knowing that you’re dealing with something heavy all by yourself. Whatever it may look like, you are never alone. We may have our individual struggles, but we will never have to face them alone. I like to think that even if you’re not ready to ask for help, it’ll always find you. That one stranger who gives you the warmest smile at Tesco could stay with you the rest of the day and erase your problems. When you’re truly going through it, don’t isolate yourself even more. You may not want to speak up but allow yourself to be open to help in any form. The universe has always got your back, in many different ways. If you feel you’re at a stage to speak up, start off small. I found that just voicing that I’m dealing with a lot is a great start. Whoever you confide in will want to be there for you, even if it’s just a hug. You don’t have to go into detail and give crazy context, but you should acknowledge small forms of support. It’s likely that if you were in their shoes, you’d be so lovingly concerned about them. It’s a given. Sometimes it’s good to step out of your shoes, it’ll help you to gain a better perspective and see that you can be supported. If you’re just not a talker at all, initiate a hug, lay your head on the shoulder of a loved one. Actions and energy speak plenty. You’ll be seen and heard. In the midst of problems, it’s easy to overlook the bright side. We can get so caught up in the problem and close ourselves off to any outside love or input. This isolates us further, and almost morphs us into the problem. That’s when it becomes more than a burden. You’ve internalized whatever it is and can’t share it with anyone else. Ironically, you’ve probably been here before. And the crazy thing is that if you look back, it was opening up that got you through it. This time would be no different. Sharing your burden, asking for help, is much more than a release. It grants you room to breathe, and fresh air for that matter. You won’t feel so alone, and you’ll have comfort knowing somebody is there for you. It can be tricky but remember there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. You don’t necessarily have to be spiritual or religious to believe that you can give your problems up to a higher power. We are all innately spiritual beings, and so there are entities much bigger than us out there. Just know that they will always be supporting you and rooting for you every step of the way. Remind yourself that your existence is so magical, and that your few problems cannot define your experience here. It’s expected that we’ll occasionally have to deal with a few things, but it’s easier knowing that suffering is not our life’s purpose. You are a blessing in itself, and you should know that great things are coming for you. Life is all about equilibrium. Without the bad, we cannot have the good. But the bad can be a bit more bearable once we know we can share it. Give it up to the universe. If it can create the beauty that is you, it can surely make the best out of whatever it is you’re going through. I like to tell myself that if I am to walk this earth, it makes no sense for me suffer at every moment. A miracle as I was not destined to be alone, nor suffer in silence for that matter. I am a child of the universe, therefore there is love and support at every turn. There are no exceptions. The exact same rings true for you. Even if it is not voiced to everybody you know, there is still support for you wherever you seek. It’s up to you to believe that you can take it <3

Life is the only thing you’ll do once, so live it up! It’s incredibly cliche to start with that, but it’s so true. I saw someone say that the beauty of life, is the fact that we can only do it once. There are no do overs. It’s not to scare you because yes, we will all experience the ending. It’s to remind you that you should appreciate this crazy experience. You’ve never been here before, and you won’t do it again, so do it the best way you can! I’m in a phase (again) where I have no clue what I’m doing. The general consensus feeling is that we need to have at least something figured out, like a career. To my surprise, I realized that’s not true. You don’t even need to know what you’re having for breakfast tomorrow. Just live for today. It can feel as though we need to plan our existence down to a T, because we don’t know when it could end. It sounds logical to an extent, but it also sounds so dull. Why would you want to know how your life is going to turn out in every detail for the next 60 years? That literally ruins the fun and the surprise of life. I’m a hypocrite though, because I’ve been having meltdowns about me not knowing what I’ll be doing in the next 6 months. However, I do have my moments of sense, which is why I’m sharing this with you. This post is in the category of Lifestyle, but it’s not what I’d typically label this as. I realized though, that I can absolutely count it as such. The overthinking, and over planning is a lifestyle in a sense. We can choose to suffocate the beauty of the unknown on a daily basis. And we do exactly that. We make five-year plans yet stay in our comfort zone. Say no to new ideas, but complain we want to live to the fullest. We contradict the concept of life all the time. It’s something I’ve been working on, I know we all are, but it’s so difficult. We are toddlers learning how to explore for the first time independently. But our fear of only living once is the parent who wants to put us in that awful kiddie harness. The two don’t go! This is where I advocate for spontaneity. We all have a friend who says they love to be spontaneous. I know they mean it with their whole heart too, because I had to slowly embody that energy. I’m a chronic over thinker. I used to stop myself from trying new things if I didn’t know how the experience would play out from beginning to end. I had to let go of even just having expectations for things. By having expectations, I already had a preconceived idea of how it should be. That again leaves no room for me to be delightfully surprised by the unknown. I can now tell you for definite that it’s the best life choice I’ve made in a minute. It has opened me up to so many amazing things, and it’s even shown me future doors that I previously wouldn’t have let myself see. I no longer try to live life by a plan I made 12 months ago, and just allow life to happen for me exactly how it should. There’s a lot of power and strength in just letting life do it’s thing. For starters, it’s way less pressure. Our tiny minds that have been conditioned and shaped since birth cannot comprehend what a truly enriching life could genuinely look like for us. We take what we know, and try to recreate that for the remainder of our lives to some extent. Another thing, letting go allows joy to find you. You can only seek the happiness that you already know has resonated with you in some capacity. It’s wild I know, but there is happiness in everything in this world, we just need to be open to aligning with it. By overthinking and overdoing, we don’t leave space for joys that are at one point foreign to us. Let yourself experience joy, and love in every and anyway. I can promise you there is plenty of it, and especially in places you probably overlooked or never even let yourself think of. My hope is that from reading this, you loosen the reigns a little bit. It’s wonderful to have a plan, or a goal for your life. I’m not saying throw it out the window. I’m simply suggesting that you remember nothing is definite. Not even the million steps you’ve come up with to curate your joy. That’s the sheer beauty of life. Nothing is certain, and so in the uncertainty, will always be pure bliss. Do remember to let life surprise you from time to time. Venture into the unknown, experience the unthinkable. There’s magic in the things you haven’t yet considered. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Quite literally! Let it unfold in the best way possible.

My least favourite part about our society is Capitalism. Industrialisation happened and we all had to become robots to sustain the working world. The promise of money was enough to make us lose individuality and work as a collective. There’s nothing wrong with learning how to work within a society, but it’s the subsequent conditions that are the problem. Our everyday lives turned into making a wage, paying a bill, feeding into consumerism, and forgetting all about living. Some may argue that they were made for the grind, but I think we were just tricked into that mindset. I’m all about the bag, but not at the expense of everything else. Like most, I’ve had a job since my national insurance number came through. I slaved away at a McDonald’s for a year of my life, earning enough to fund my little social life. That experience was hell. Anyone who has worked there knows that the theme is exploitation of young people. They’d give you shifts that would leave you stranded in town at night, or ones that’d mean you’d have to sneak out of sixth form. They were experts at teaching you that your job should be your only priority. The next stop on my CV was Primark. I thought I had hit the jackpot with this one. Oh, was I wrong. Retail is not for the weak, and I was weak. I managed to survive two years, even transferring when I went to university. This job numbed your existence until all you knew was how to perfectly fold knickers. I’m grateful to have been able to work, but it did indeed mess with my spirit. I loved the fact that having my own job meant having my own money. I was free to do what I wanted and impulsively spend as I pleased. I was a young independent boss in my eyes. As time went on, I started to dislike my job more and more. At one point, a customer even told me to smile and I had said what for? She had thrown her things at me across the desk and was completely manner less. I was so over getting treated poorly by customers and colleagues just for a couple hundred every month. The 16 hours each week there was merely soul draining. It wasn’t until I quit university and hopped into full time work that I realised working just isn’t the one. I was surrounded by women more than twice my age, and they complained everyday like clockwork. It honestly scared me to think that I was looking into my future. I worked as a teaching assistant in a primary school. I first started out as a general TA, moving onto a 1:1 in a new school. I loved my job. The kids would make me smile every day, and I loved doing runs to the photocopier and getting excited with a child when they achieved something. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cry when my 1:1 told me he loved me. Working with these children was the most rewarding thing I’d done to date. It was the staff environment that really killed it for me. You need to have backbone if you’re going to be the youngest employee there, especially if you’re the only black person too. I was so excited about my job that it took me a while to truly see the environment for what it was. Everyday there’d be a new microaggression, gossip, or just plain ignorance. I knew I had to leave when the dinner lady asked me if I was genuinely okay. I came to work with a smile and a happy spirit, so for her to see me in that moment, it was enough. It had got to a point where staff members would say completely out of pocket things, and I no longer felt comfortable to talk to my colleagues or even my boss. I took pride in my work, and strived to create positive change every day, no matter how small. So, I felt stuck. Having clarity on the treatment hindered me from being able to carry out my job to the fullest. I realised that I had thrown everything I had into this job, but it was working against me. I no longer made time for myself, and I was living out the same dull cycle weekly. If it hadn’t been for that toxic workplace, I never would have had the strength to leave. I had long term plans to gain extra qualifications, even advocating for a contract change so I could do so. I saved myself just in time. I knew that if I committed myself to this, I would stunt my life before it even got a chance to sprout. So, I handed in my resignation, had a meeting to call everybody out, and quit. The hardest part for me was parting with the child I was working with. He was a gem, but I knew that I couldn’t do right by him as he needed if I had to continue to feel this way about something I loved to do. It’s been just over a month since I quit now, and I’ve learnt so much. I didn’t tell a soul that I quit because being unemployed could cause mixed reactions, especially in our current climate. This was something I needed to address in peace. For the first two weeks, I was completely paralyzed. I didn’t physically know how to just do nothing. I told my dad, and he said if you know how to do something, then you know how to do nothing. Although that was hypocritical advice from a workaholic, I took it in. I had kept a job since I was 16 and this was the first time that I intentionally took a break. It was so foreign to me. This time allowed me to gain so much perspective about how the workplace affects me mentally and physically. It allowed me to readjust my priorities and really focus on myself for once. I even took a solo getaway during this time to reconnect with myself and it did wonders. Taking a breather from the toxic working world was exactly what I needed to refocus and feel out what I wanted for myself. The biggest takeaway from this, is that I now understand what I need from working. We often just enter a job so that we can afford to live. Yes it’s important, but we spend our whole lives working. It’s necessary to figure out how you can make it beneficial for yourself in every aspect. We should strive to put ourselves before a job, because what do you have to offer if you’re not yourself? I identified my skills, and then my desires for a working environment. I asked myself what I will need in order to feel like I can thrive personally and professionally in this commitment. It dawned on me that I literally just needed to work on my passions. Whether that be in a job, or independently, you have to love what you do. It may go over your head, but committing to a career just for the external benefits is a shortcut to weekly emotional breakdowns. I know that isn’t something I want to subscribe to for the remainder of my life. If you’re fortunate enough to be able to take a break, please do so. Find who you are and what you can offer as the best version of yourself. Allow yourself to call in opportunities that perfectly align with your spirit. You deserve to have joy in yourself and a career too. You will shine your brightest when you do what makes you happy each day. The biggest contribution you’ll make to society is yourself. So, make sure you’re nurturing your greatness at all times.